Hong Kong Saved! Chinese Government Collapses Under the Sheer Weight of Upvotes

If only Reddit warriors were around during WWII, a lot of time and lives would have been saved. That old dog Hitler would have apologized and resigned as soon as he heard white men ages 18-35 had called him a cuck. Luckily for us, Redditors exist now, and they have taken time away from jerking off and putting down sex-workers to take on the heavy burden of destroying all the evils of the world. We all remember when the Boston Marathon bomber fell to the swift hammer of competent Reddit justice. The powerful Redditors that be assembled to inform the police that the bomber could potentially be an innocent man standing on the roof of his apartment. The police, making intelligent decisions for once, followed up on this and realized it was just an innocent man standing on the roof of his apartment. One suspect down.

Their last enemy has also just suffered a timely demise. President’s Xi’s post “Am I The Asshole For Trying Hong Kongian prisoners in Chinese Courts?” became the most downvoted post in history. After reaching the necessary 1,000k upvotes on a comment that said “YTA” the Chinese Great Hall of People crumbled to the ground, signaling the end of a repressive regime. In the end, the dust settled and a lone Snoo rose from the ashes. Standing atop the rubble, he took off his NBA Snapback and threw it on the ground. “Thanks for the Gold Kind Stranger,” he exclaimed whilst pulling out his Android to sign a change.org petition entitled “100 signatures and we’ll delete Blizzard from the freaking internet.”

Never in my life have I met a more principled, and effective group of activists, the great movements of the 20th century pale in comparison to what we have now. Look at the facts, Martin Luther King never even upvoted anything. Sometimes I’ll go to upvote a pro-Hong Kong post, but I’ll remember the brave Redditors who gave their lives to this cause, and I’ll reverse image search just to make sure it's OC. The little things make a difference.


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