If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, It Will Become Emotionally Dependent
by Jacob Nakshian '20, April 15, 2019

 

If you give a mouse a cookie,
It’s going to ask for a glass of milk
And slowly start to integrate you
Into its sense of self

 

Once it’s had its glass of milk,
It will ask you for a hug
And then ask you if you care about it
To reaffirm your love

 

If you tell a mouse you love it,
It will run its fingers down your face,
And the next time you hang out,
Keep a toothbrush at your place

 

And then you hang out every day
And forget how many weeks its been
Since it sleeps there every night,
The mouse will ask you to move in

 

It will want to tell you secrets,
About why its heart never mends
You will make the mouse feel safer
And it will ask to meet your friends

 

It will ask you to take long walks,
To play catch with its new mitt
And if you say “Nice Catch, mouse!”
It will say “Thanks Dad, oh, um shit”

 

If you give a mouse a cigarette,
And then smoke it on the porch,
It will take a drag and ask you
If you’ve felt this way before

 

So if a mouse has a question,
Don’t be filled with pain and strife
Because you gave a mouse a cookie
And together, you built a life

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